Faith-based marriage enrichment program

Married couples, for years, have bolstered their relationships through the Worldwide Marriage Encounter (WWME) program. For more than five decades, the program has thrived in North Dakota and all over the world.

It was created in the 1960s by a priest in Spain seeking to strengthen married couples’ communication and grow their understanding of living out a sacramental marriage in service to others, said Bismarck resident, Kate Bleth. She and husband Ryan coordinate the Worldwide Marriage Encounter weekends within the Bismarck Diocese.

Since 1971, encounters have been available throughout North Dakota as part of a three-state region which includes South Dakota and Minnesota. Over the course of an experience—typically a weekend—couples and a priest give a series of presentations to those in attendance.

“Ryan and I have presented weekends in North Dakota, Minnesota and South Dakota. But we also have priests in our region who travel all over the country to help present weekends, particularly in Spanish.”

The Bleths liken the Worldwide Marriage Encounter Experience to a car tune-up. A marriage needs regular upkeep to go the distance, they maintain.

“Ryan and I had been married for eight years when we found out more about Worldwide Marriage Encounter. We had young children and busy lives. We were not in a crisis, but just hadn't been taking time to connect and prioritize our relationship,” said Bleth. “The vocation of marriage had lost some of the ‘shine’ of the early years, and we were looking for a way to focus on each other.”

They didn’t know what to expect, that first weekend experience, but were looking forward to just being together.

“This experience taught us a lot about ourselves and about each other and gave us the fuel we needed to go back home and share our love with others—our children, family, parish, co-workers, friends.”

Bleth noted that each person’s stage in life and in their marriage poses a unique situation.

“We have presented to couples in their first year of marriage and in their 60th year of marriage (and everywhere in between),” Bleth said. “I remember the more ‘seasoned’ couple telling the younger couples in the room what a blessing it was for them to be learning the tools they learned on their experience and having them to use for their whole marriage.”

A primary concept taught throughout the WWME experience is a communication tool called dialogue, said Bleth. “We also focus on being better listeners and look at areas where we may need improvement in both communicating and listening.” 

The Bleths found that concept carried over well to their relationships with their children.
“We have personally found this to be an awesome tool to help us better understand what our kids are dealing with. In addition, being more tuned into your own thoughts and feelings makes you more aware of what others might be going through,” she said.

They emphasize they are not marriage counselors and that the Worldwide Marriage Encounter may not be a solution for serious marital problems.

“It is a common misconception that Worldwide Marriage Encounter is for troubled marriages. We are there to share our personal stories in a structured way that will allow couples to grow in their own relationships,” Bleth said. 

A common experience for married couples is disillusionment when the romance of the early years is replaced by feelings of disappointment or frustration, said Bleth. Through the format of the presentations, attendees learn how to get through these stages and experience more joy in relationships. They look at things in their relationships that are barriers to a responsible and intimate relationship with each other— the kind of relationship God is calling us to.

No group sessions are held during the encounter experience, said Bleth.

“A couple and priest offer a presentation; couples are asked to reflect and write after each presentation and then talk privately in their own room/spaces before returning for the next presentation.”

The WWME encounter invites those attending to get to know themselves better, then their spouses, and then how the sacraments are calling us to live out God's calling in the world around us, she explained.

Bleth said there are now approximately 2,000 experiences presented each year in over 100 countries across the world. In North America, Worldwide Marriage Encounter Experiences are presented in English, Spanish, Korean and French. 

She describes the Worldwide Marriage Encounter as structured but said lot of thought and planning go into the outline the presenting team couples use so the encounter remains focused in the short time they have. Presenters add their own life examples to make the lessons more personal.

Worldwide Marriage Encounter weekend experiences in North Dakota are often offered during the quiet winter “off-season” in Medora when tourists are generally gone for the season. They have also held experiences in Williston, Grand Forks, Fargo-Casselton, Bismarck-Mandan and Devils Lake. The most recent was scheduled in March at a retreat center at Maryvale in Valley City.

Fees for the weekend vary depending on several factors. Depending upon the format and location of the encounter, lodging and meals may be provided. Couples are encouraged to find childcare so they can fully focus on each other.

Worldwide Marriage Encounter is a Catholic retreat; however, it is open to all denominations.

“Part of our focus is on marriage as a sacrament and how God calls us to live out our calling to be a sign of His love to those around us. Mass is offered on Saturday morning. This is optional but all are welcome. We also end our time together with Mass on Sunday,” Bleth explained.

Open to religious

Many people might not be aware that Marriage Encounter weekends are for more than just married couples despite the name of the program. Priests, seminarians and religious brothers and sisters can also attend. Their relationships with the people in the community of faith that they serve is actually like the relationship between husbands and wives. The program can bolster their relationships with their church communities.

Priests and religious are invited and strongly encouraged to attend the same retreats as married couples, according to Bleth. “Through their vocation, priests and religious are called to take the Church (us) as their spouse. In many ways, the joys and struggles of both vocations are similar.”

Positive feedback

Feedback from participants has been generally positive, said Bleth. “Most recently, a husband shared that he was kind of sad that more couples weren't taking time to do this for their marriages. He said they have been using dialogue and it has changed their marriage.”

She added, “For those who have been married for a while, from what we have seen and heard, it has opened a whole new world. Many couples live like roommates after the romance of their wedding day fades. Worldwide Marriage Encounter puts the spark back into their relationship.” 

When we take our vows to live a married or religious life, we are making a commitment to get someone else to heaven, Bleth said. “That is a huge responsibility! We should be using every possible tool at our disposal to make that task easier! Plus, a little time away to be with the person you committed your life to isn't such a terrible idea either.”

Couples or religious who have attended an encounter experience may opt to join a WWME community for extended support, which typically meets monthly for resources and continued encouragement. Short presentations are given that are relevant to marriage/religious life, and offers fellowship with other married couples. 
 
For more information, go to wwme.org.