Funeral for Uncle Steve

Although Steve Roerich was born and raised in Linton, N.D., California had become his home since the 1970s. He still had family in North Dakota and even visited once in a while, but the distance and busyness of life had stretched family ties. 
 
For Bonnie Volk, Steve was a connection to her dad. “He was my dad’s brother,” she said. “I was 27 and my dad was 49 when he died; only 11 months after Dave and I were married.”
 
Uncle Steve and her dad grew up in a farm family with 10 kids, Bonnie explained. “Every Sunday they attended Mass at St. Bernard’s mission church which has since closed down.” She recalled that as a young girl, during summer visits, she sometimes joined her grandfather for the daily Mass. Bonnie’s grandmother had died when she was only two years old.
 
Family visits
 
Although Bonnie and her Uncle Steve were not particularly close there was always a family bond. Two years ago, she and Dave visited Uncle Steve and his wife Karen, in Buena Park, Calif.
 
Steve had long ago stopped practicing his Catholic faith and had been married at the county courthouse. It was not his first marriage. Bonnie noticed palms around Steve’s house and in his truck from Palm Sunday services, and said her uncle had a spiritual side, but his Church membership had gone by the wayside.
 
Last summer, Steve and his wife drove from California to Bismarck to attend Dave and Bonnie’s son’s wedding. It was a busy time amid the wedding activities, so there was precious time for visiting, but it was clear that family still mattered to Steve. 
 
Cancer diagnosis
 
This past Dec. 7, Steve called Bonnie to tell her he had just been diagnosed with kidney cancer. “He didn’t even sound sick,” she said. Steve did not want surgery or treatment. Bonnie was reassured that he had a social worker and his wife Karen looking out for him.
 
The next day, Steve called Bonnie again but this time his breathing was labored. “I want peace,” he said. “I just want peace and forgiveness.”
 
Bonnie responded, “Steve, the only time I have that kind of peace is when I come out of confession, after I have given everything to Jesus. It’s the kind of peace that is beyond this world; it’s everything. Do you want that kind of peace?”
 
“Yes.”
 
“Do you want me to find a priest?”
 
“Yes.”
 
“Do you want me to find a priest right way?”
 
“No, it can wait until next week.”
 
Bonnie found a priest in Orange County, near Buena Park where Steve lived. The priest called Steve on Saturday, Dec. 10. Steve said it was not necessary to come immediately, but they made plans for the priest to visit on Tuesday. 
 
Bonnie called her uncle on Sunday. His breathing sounded even more labored. “Are you sure you don’t want me to ask the priest to come over today?” she asked.
 
“No, Tuesday will be fine,” he insisted.
 
Bonnie encouraged Steve to take the time between Sunday and until the priest came to spend with Jesus. “God is real,”’ she said. “He hears you. Just talk to Him. He’s been waiting for this.” Steve told her that he would.
 
On Monday, Karen called. “He’s gone,” she said.
 
Bonnie’s heart sank. Her uncle’s time had run out.
 
“Our fathers have passed on, many relatives as well, and I realized that we were left now to pray for Uncle Steve, too, for the rest of our lives,” she said. “I’m fine with doing that, but feel angry that Steve waited his whole life and missed out on the power of submitting to Our Lord in confession and receiving the unbelievable mercy that pours out.”
 
Funeral arrangements
 
Bonnie asked Karen if she had plans for a funeral. There were none. “I’ll be happy to do that for you,” Bonnie offered. “Steve was baptized a Catholic and it would be important to my family to have a funeral Mass for him. And it would be important to him.”
 
Karen agreed. Steve’s remains were cremated, placed in an urn and delivered in a box to Bonnie’s house. Msgr. Chad Gion pastor of Spirit of Life in Mandan, where Bonnie and Dave are parishioners, agreed to preside at the funeral.
 
“Whether Steve appreciated the faith or the Mass when he lived, he has a deep appreciation for it now,” Msgr. Gion said. “We were doing him a kindness, a corporal work of mercy, to help him.”
 
Msgr. Gion explained that when a person dies, if they are in purgatory, saying Masses for them assists in the purgative work. “Purgatory is a place where everything that was broken in us is healed and people complete their final conversion,” he said. “People in purgatory can’t pray for themselves, but we can pray for them.”
 
The body of Christ
 
“I knew my uncle had wounds he did not talk much about, but there was nothing more healing that I could give him than this Mass and to pray for him afterwards,” Bonnie explained.
 
Nine family members attended the funeral. During the rosary before the service, the parish staff joined in. When Bonnie was suddenly overcome with tears, Sr. Mary Michael, who was sitting behind her, picked up the prayers until Bonnie could continue. 
 
“At that moment, I felt what it really means to be the body of Christ,” she said. “Sometimes, what we can’t do for ourselves, we can do for each other. The funeral Mass was something I could do for Uncle Steve.”
 
Right before the final blessing, Bonnie said she heard her Uncle Steve’s voice in her heart. “Thank you, Bonnie,” he said.
 
Steve had been in the Air Force years earlier and was buried at the Veterans Memorial Cemetery.