How many times should I confess the same sin?

It’s a common scenario. Let’s say a guy has spent some time looking at pornography. He feels guilty. Being a Mass-going Catholic, he wants to get rid of the guilt that hangs over him after committing the sin. He also knows that, being aware of having committed a gravely sinful act, he ought not receive Communion until he has first gone to confession. He wants to be able to receive Communion with a clear conscience. So, he gets in the confessional line, confesses his sins to the priest, makes his act of contrition, saying in part, “… I firmly resolve, with the help of your grace, to sin no more …” and receives forgiveness.
 
But, the very next day he finds himself staring at his computer screen, looking at pornography. The guilt, again, washes over him. And so, once more, he finds himself in the confessional line. The cycle continues. Again, and again and again.
 
Now, thankfully, not everyone is tempted by pornography. The sins confessed are different for different people, but we all have our “favorite” sins, the ones we can’t seem to ditch, the ones we end up confessing repeatedly. When penitents find themselves in this cycle of sin, they’re often tempted by (among others) the following thoughts, which I’ll address in turn: First, they almost despair at their weakness. Second, they start to wonder if they should even bother to go again. And, thirdly, they wonder if the priest is tired of hearing the same old sins every time. 
 
First of all, never despair. The devil’s strategy is fairly straightforward: tempt us to think a sin will be good, then immediately after we commit the sin, tempt us to despair at our weakness. We should never fall into this trap! I often urge penitents to, the moment they find themselves tempted to commit their favorite sin, recall the guilt they know will follow immediately after. They should realize they are being tempted and reject the temptation instantly. I also tell them, if they commit the sin, to recall that God so badly wanted to forgive this individual sin that He died to make forgiveness possible. We can never exhaust God’s mercy, so we must never despair!
 
Secondly, keep going! Along with the Eucharist, the sacrament of reconciliation is meant to be our constant companion through life. We should confess as often as we realize we are guilty. And, never stop confessing a given sin until we stop committing that sin.
 
Why? The Compendium of the Catechism lists the effects of confession as: “reconciliation with God and therefore the forgiveness of sins; reconciliation with the Church; recovery, if it has been lost, of the state of grace; remission of the eternal punishment merited by mortal sins, and remission, at least in part, of the temporal punishment which is the consequence of sin; peace, serenity of conscience and spiritual consolation; and an increase of spiritual strength for the struggle of Christian living” (310).
 
That last item, an “increase of spiritual strength for the struggle,” is important but often overlooked. When we go to confession, we often do so because we want to get rid of guilt or be able to receive Communion again.  Those are good reasons to go to confession. But, confession does more, if we let it. It can help us, over time and along with our own effort, to ditch a particular sin for good. Sometimes, years of confessing the same sin will pass. Then, finally, a person will realize that they are no longer tempted by that sin. The sacrament of reconciliation works, and it does more than just forgive sin. It can help us to stop sinning in the first place.
 
Finally, one wonders if the priest tires of hearing a penitent repeating the same sins. The answer, of course, is no. God never tires of forgiving the sins of His people. Priests are God’s chosen instruments for dispensing that forgiveness, and we are happy to do so. Again, and again and again.
 
However, this does not mean we should be comfortable falling into a sin repeatedly. A sin is always a terrible thing, and we need to do what we can to “avoid the near occasions of sin.” If one is tempted to look at pornography, they should get filtering software (like Covenant Eyes). If one is often tempted to gossip, they should practice changing the subject when a conversation turns a little too juicy. If tempted to harbor anger toward someone, practice kindness. And, pray for God’s grace to leave that favorite sin behind, whatever it is. We mustn’t get comfortable with that sin. We must not let it pull us into hell. Or, for that matter, even into purgatory. We must eradicate it from our lives, as best as we can. 
 
But, know that if we do fall into sin, again, we should never despair. Get to confession, again. And, along with God’s forgiveness, take advantage of that renewed strength for the fight. Dust ourselves off, pray as sincerely as we can, “…I firmly resolve, with the help of your grace, to sin no more...” and begin again.
 
Fr. Signalness is pastor of Queen of the Most Holy Rosary in Stanley and St. Ann in Berthhold. If you have a question you were afraid to ask, now is the time to ask it! Simply email your question to [email protected] with the “Question Afraid to Ask” in the subject line.