What if I disagree with the priest’s homily message?

My first recommendation is to write him a nasty note. Or gift him with a bag of rotten produce. I’m kidding of course. If I had to make a bet I would bet—and would certainly win the bet—that most people who pay attention to the homily at Mass will disagree with the priest’s message sometime or another. Keep in mind, we priests are fallible like everyone else. The homily is only the gospel truth if we priests are speaking the truth of the Gospel, something which frankly does happen regularly.

Four types of disagreement with the homily message come to mind as I ponder this question. First, the priest is preaching heresy. Second, he’s teaching something immoral. Third, he has spoken imprudently or lacked respect for a person or group. And lastly, the priest is speaking truth but the listener doesn’t like the truth.

First, the priest is speaking heresy. I don’t know of a situation in the Diocese of Bismarck where this has intentionally happened. However, when I was studying at a Spanish camp in Texas back in 2015, I heard some homilies that fell in this category. At the camp there were several priests, religious and layfolk. We priests would rotate as the celebrant for Mass. When the turn for one of the guys came, he intentionally denied the authority Jesus gave to the Church. “The laws of the Church are not the laws of God,” he said. “We should follow the laws of God but don’t have to follow the laws of the Church.” On another occasion he denied the Virgin Mary’s sinlessness. There were three homilies he gave the four weeks we were there, each with something heretical. I had only been a priest a year and a half at the time and he had been for 30+ years. My gut reaction was to call him out on this, but after bringing it to prayer it was clear it was not for me to do so. This was solidified after hearing our Spanish teacher confront him. He only argued his view and wasn’t receptive to correction. As the ancient proverb states, “He who corrects an arrogant man earns insult.” And another, “Reprove not an arrogant man, lest he hate you.” (Proverbs 9:7-8). Our teacher, a humble Mexican lady, was willing to take the verbal beating and courageously did so.

Second, maybe the priest is teaching something that is immoral. Maybe he’s teaching that abortion or contraception is okay, that you don’t have to forgive everyone, that immigrants don’t deserve hospitality, or that it’s okay to live together before marriage. In this type of preaching and in the one above, someone (or more than someone) needs to correct the guy. But are you that person? If you are moved to address him and the answer to the following three questions is yes, then likely you are the one. Have you brought it to prayer again and again? Is your heart at peace? And most of all, do you have a genuine and authentic love for the priest? If the answer is yes to all three, then you have to ask, how? Asking to set up a meeting with him may be an option. Writing him a letter or email with your real name on it is another. Be sure to include a way he can respond to you. Prudence should guide the correction rather than emotion. A letter of sole complaint is no good. And certainly, talking badly about him behind his back won’t help you or him. “No foul language should come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for needed edification, that it may impart grace to those who hear.” (Ephesians 4:29)

Third, he has spoken imprudently or lacked respect for a person or group. I’m sure I’ve done this a time or more, but not intentionally. When you open your mouth and speak, at some point all of us sinners will say something imprudent. If the priest is your pastor, invite him over for a meal. Get to know him, and pray for him. Before you make a correction in this category always wait a long time. If the priest knows you well and the Lord is calling you to correct him, you will find that your heart will be at peace and the correction will come easy. If the priest gets upset or stops talking to you, receive it as a continual reminder to pray for his salvation and his continued growth in holiness. But maybe you should just let it go. “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you know how you should respond to each one.” (Colossians 4:6)

Fourth, the priest is speaking truth but the listener does not like the truth. The whole point of the homily is to put into common language the Gospel message, the good news of Jesus Christ who saves us from sin and hell, and grants us eternal life with Him. In order that we receive this message of our salvation, priests are required to preach all that Jesus taught (see Matthew 28:20). The Sacred Scriptures and the Catechism of the Catholic Church are good guides to bounce priests’ homilies off of for any type of teaching. After doing so and it’s clear the priest is continually speaking against Church teaching, reporting him to his bishop is not a bad idea, but only after heeding the advice of Jesus found in Matthew 18:15ff. However, if his homily is the Gospel truth and you find yourself not liking it, bring the teaching to Jesus in prayer again and again. Ask Him for the grace of obedience to His commands and humility. Obedience to Jesus will cause you to be filled with peace and joy. “The precepts of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart. The command of the Lord is clear, enlightening the eye.” (Psalm 19:8-9)

In conclusion, or a fifth point, what if the priest is doing none of these but is just really annoying? Having an annoying person or two in one’s life is a good way to overcome pride and brings opportunities to grow in patience. “Strive for peace with everyone, and for that holiness without which no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one be deprived of the grace of God, that no bitter root spring up and cause trouble, through which many may become defiled.” (Hebrews 12:14-15)

Fr. Evinger is pastor of St. Joseph in Killdeer, St. Paul in Halliday and St. Joseph in Twin Buttes. If you have a question you were afraid to ask, now is the time to ask it! Simply email your question to [email protected] with the “Question Afraid to Ask” in the subject line.