What is contrition and how can I be contrite for my sins?

Battles are raging everywhere in the world today. But how many are aware or concerned for the one battle that has much further reaching stakes than winning the Lombardi trophy or Olympic gold? A battle whose ramifications far outweigh the dreadful decisions of those who sit in Congress, the White House or even on the Supreme Court. This battle is the fight Jesus Christ is waging for the salvation of the soul of each human being. The enemy could fight this battle using nuclear weapons, horrible concentration camps or other horrors, but instead he employs a more useful tactic: convincing people to remain in their own sins.

Many in the world, for various reasons, are blind to sin or foolishly deny that it exists. This is an immense help to the enemy. But we Catholics have been taught that although the sins of humanity have crucified and killed Christ, He allowed it only to kill sin and overthrow Satan. Christ has already won this victory by his death on the cross and his resurrection, but the full realization of this victory in the hearts of the faithful is often eclipsed by poor confessions. The full dawning of victory in this immense battle happens when God the Holy Spirit inspires contrition deep within our hearts that we may experience the fullness of His mercy. We must pray for this contrition by opening wide our hearts.

Contrition is sorrow of the soul and hatred for the sin committed, together with a resolution not to sin again (cf. CCC 1451). Contrition is the true turning point in this great and epic battle. After spending his inheritance on a life of dissipation, the prodigal son experiences the grace of contrition by saying, “I shall get up and go to my father and say to him, Father I have sinned…” (Lk 15:18). Contrition can be expressed using three phrases: (1) “I am heartily sorry;” (2) “I detest all my sins;” (3) “I firmly resolve.”

Let’s look at these three.

“I am heartily sorry…” True contrition flows from sorrow felt in the heart of the sinner due to the wrong committed. This first expression of contrition is often seen in the beautiful disposition of the penitent who bows his head in humility and perhaps is even found weeping. Too often, attempts at confession miss the profound opportunity to stir up tears from the heart. Contrition gets stuck in our thoughts and never gets to the heart. The old adage “the longest journey man will ever make is from his head to his heart” is apt here. We rely too much on our thoughts and worries and thus fail to allow the Holy Spirit to move us to contrition in the “depths of our heart.” What a pity! Jesus laments this by saying, “This people honors me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.” (Mt 15:8) Rather, listen to these words: “Rend your hearts, not your garments…” (Jl 2:13). Powerful words amidst the difficult battle.

“I detest all my sins…” This essential characteristic of contrition allows the grieving penitent the grace to join God in a true hate for the sins committed. It is important to note here that contrition inspires hate for the sin not a misguided hate of self. It is not intended to lead one into scrupulosity. Instead, by detesting sin the sinner expresses his weaknesses and vulnerability to sin and acknowledges his wretched choice to abandon Christ and the cross.

“I firmly resolve…” Lastly, contrition expressed sincerely doesn’t end in tears or a hating of evil there in the confessional but becomes redemptive as it inspires the heart to persevere in choosing to carry the cross and remaining faithful when temptation comes again. Thus, after forgiving her, Jesus says to the adulterous woman to “go, and sin no more” (Jn 8:11).

Contrition in these three simple components becomes the powerful means by which the Holy Spirit unites us to the victory of Christ in this epic battle. A humble and contrite heart God will not spurn. We should stir up in our hearts this contrition each day by examining our own conscience and praying the act of contrition fervently. One can find this grace of contrition abundantly by mediating on the Stations of the Cross and standing next to the sorrowful Virgin Mary at the foot of the cross.

Fr. John Paul Gardner is parochial vicar at the Cathedral of the Holy Spirit in Bismarck.  If you have a question you were afraid to ask, now is the time to ask it! Simply email your question to [email protected] with the “Question Afraid to Ask” in the subject line.