A beautiful Bismarck connection

Rewind back to springtime of 2007 with Father Russ Kovash traveling in his car to a local parish assignment within the Archdiocese of St. Louis while a student at Kenrick-Glennon Seminary.

He’s awestruck by a CD playing of the testimony titled “Prove it, God!…And He Did” by St. Louis resident named Patty Schneier. In fact, he was so moved by her story that he tracked her down and asked her to come to his hometown of Dickinson and speak at Trinity High School that following October. She agreed and it began a life-long friendship that would have almost unbelievable reach into the lives of Bismarck priests.

Patty’s testimony on the CD was about her and her husband, Larry’s, conversion in 2002 to follow the Catholic Church’s belief on marriage and human sexuality. For years, they had been living a duplicitous life—outwardly living and portraying a Catholic marriage but using contraception. The complete transformation of their marriage and sharing that story is what catapulted Patty into a 20-year career in speaking, writing and ministry for the Catholic faith.

That summer of 2007, Fr. Russ shared the CD with Bishop Paul Zipfel, who decided that every Bismarck Diocese Catholic should hear Patty’s message. Thanks to the innovation of Fr. Russ, guidance from his vocation director, Msgr. Tom Richter, and generous donors, 25,000 copies of “Prove It, God!...And He Did” were sent—along with a personally recorded message from Bishop Zipfel—to every household in the fall of 2007.

“I have been a Catholic speaker for over 20 years and have spoken all over the United States, but the Bismarck Diocese is especially ‘near and dear to my heart,’ more than any other,” Patty shared. “I call it my ‘Bismarck connection,’ but it is so much more than just a connection. It is a tapestry of special relationships that have enriched my life beyond my wildest imagination.”

Patty said she’ll never forget Bishop Zipfel’s words that he recorded to send along with the CD to all the households of the Bismarck Diocese inviting them to listen to this story of an ordinary housewife and mother. He said, “If you listen to this CD, be careful, because it might turn your life upside down—for the good.”

Little did Patty know, the new “Bismarck connection” would offer quite a few twists and turns in her life.

“Before heading to Dickinson in October, I thought it only proper to finally meet this Seminarian Russ Kovash in person—after all, he had just distributed 25,000 copies of my testimony, and I would be staying at his sister’s house, meeting his parents and speaking at his alma mater. So, my husband, Larry, and I invited him over for dinner. To my absolute shock, he was not a 22-year-old seminarian—but rather a 42-year-old seminarian—the exact same age of my husband and me in 2007. We became instant friends. He became part of our family for the next two years while in seminary.”

For almost 15 years, Patty and family have connected with Bismarck seminarians beginning with Fr. Russ.

“We’re there at seminary studying to be priests and give our lives to the Lord,” Fr. Russ noted, “and, in a lot of ways, she’s given her life to the Lord, too, through her God-given gifts and being a passionate speaker on the faith. She loves life and has a great zeal and love for the Lord and His Church. If you ever meet Patty, you’ll see she’s over the top, in a good way. She’s all in.”

Promise to Bishop Zipfel

As a last-minute addition to that first North Dakota trip, Patty spoke at Christ the King in Mandan, where she was seated next to Bishop Zipfel during a meal.

“I promised him then that we would ‘adopt’ any seminarians that he sent to Kenrick-Glennon Seminary…and so began my friendship with Bishop Zipfel and my personal connection with the Bismarck Diocese.”

In fact, it wasn’t Patty and Larry’s first connection to Bishop Zipfel who was a priest of the Archdiocese of St. Louis before being named Bishop of Bismarck in 1997. Remarkably, Patty’s husband, Larry, remembered Bishop Zipfel as a priest in his St. Louis area parish when he was a child recalling that bishop used to do magic tricks.

Return for ordination

In 2008, Patty traveled here for Fr. Russ’s diaconate ordination in Dickinson and agreed to an invitation from Fr. Basil Atwell to speak at St. Mary’s in New England and at the nearby women’s prison. 

“This was the first time I had ever spoken in a prison, and the experience touched me greatly,” Patty noted. “I always try to say ‘yes’ to whatever is asked of me. God will open doors for you, your job is to just walk through them.”

During that speaking event at the women’s prison in New England in 2008, she met some of the local women assisting with prison ministry. One of the women was Maureen Gardner who brought along her 14-year-old son, Paul. Years later, Patty was amazed to “meet” Paul again, now as a seminarian for the Bismarck Diocese studying at Kenrick-Glennon. This just solidified Patty’s sheer amazement and wonder at the many “Bismarck connections.”

In 2009, Patty and her family attended Fr. Russ’s priestly ordination and first Mass. Though she admits it was hard to say goodbye to him, she could never have known that it was just the beginning.

The list of Bismarck Diocese priests who have been welcomed into the Schneier home over the years is long and keeps growing year after year. She lists Fathers Jason Signalness, Kregg Hochhalter, Tom Grafsgaard, Corey Nelson, Adam Maus, Brandon Wolf, Mark Aune, Ben Franchuk, Jacob Degele, Greg Hilzendeger, Greg Luger, Paul Gardner, Ben Wanner, Logan Obrigewitch and Deacon Dustin Johns who have spent time around their dining room table. Some more, some less—depending on how many years they studied at Kenrick-Glennon Seminary.

“Currently, Deacon Ryan Martire, Deacon Eric Artz and Seminarian Colton Steiner, who are in formation, are always welcome at our home. We host a ‘back-to-school-BBQ’ in the fall and usually another dinner in the spring. We also attend seminary events where we see the ‘Bismarck guys’ and let them know that we are here for them. Throughout the years, we have come to know many of their families and their vocation directors—Msgr. Thomas Richter, Fr. Josh Waltz and Fr. Jordan Dosch. Of course, when Fr. Paul Eberle became a spiritual director for Kenrick-Glennon, he became part of the group!”

Extended family

Over the years, the circle grew beyond their immediate family.

“My sister, Peggy Hart, and her husband, Tom, along with our best friends, Rick and Katie Brennan, have all hosted seminarian dinners for the men and have accompanied them as well.  We all try to come up to Bismarck for ordination every year. It’s a joyful reunion to see former seminarians who are now priests, but also bittersweet to have to say goodbye to the newly ordained.”

Patty and Larry have three grown children. Their oldest son, John, entered the seminary right out of high school and was ordained a priest of the Archdiocese of St. Louis in 2017.

“I remember him as a 14 or 15-year-old, playing catch with the Bismarck seminarians in our back yard,” Patty said. “I wanted my children to see priests and seminarians as normal people. Interacting with these holy men really solidified their Catholic faith. Having seminarians over for dinner was ‘normal’ for us. Going to ordinations became ‘normal’ for us. John got to know them, see them and experience first-hand how awesome they are. I believe the Bismarck Diocese seminarians are one of many seeds that God used to call my son.”

In all these connections with the Bismarck Diocese, Patty considers herself the lucky one.

“I have received far more that I could ever give,” she said. “I have received so much from these relationships for doing so little—for just having people over for supper. God lavishes me with knowing such holy men, such beautiful priests and the people of the Bismarck Diocese.”

A treasured friendship

Patty can’t even begin to count all the memories and blessings that have come from these relationships, but one that Patty noted among the most special was her friendship with Bishop Zipfel which continued throughout his active ministry and beyond. 

“I looked forward to his Christmas letter every year (written in his gorgeous, yet tiny handwriting) and, of course, we would see him at ordinations,” Patty recalled. “When he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and moved to Mother of Good Counsel Nursing Home in St. Louis, I would visit him.”

Because of the progression of the disease, Bishop Zipfel could no longer recognize her, nor carry on a conversation.

“I would sing to him. I would bring my Church song book, and sing for hours, which made him very happy. I sang old songs in Latin. I sang new songs; I sang Edelwiess—which was his favorite! I loved our visits.”

On July 13, 2019, Sr. Mary Elizabeth, from the nursing home, called Patty to tell her that Bishop Zipfel’s health was failing and to pray for him.

“The next morning on Sunday, July 14, I decided to go visit him after Mass,” Patty recalled. “When I entered the room, I could see he was near death, and all I could think of was Mary of Bethany anointing Jesus out of love, breaking open the jar of perfumed nard and pouring it over his head and body in preparation for his death. Obviously, I didn’t have any nard. But what did I have? I broke open my heart and softly sang to Bishop Zipfel the songs and prayers of the Church at his bedside for over an hour and a half—almost like lullabies.

“I prayed the rosary and sang the Chaplet of Divine Mercy softly in his ear, then I thanked him for every Mass he ever celebrated, every confession he ever heard, every person he ever confirmed, every wedding he witnessed, every baby he baptized, and every priest he ordained…and, finally, said goodbye.”

Patty went home and was notified, a few hours later, that he had passed. 

“That day was one of the most special moments of my life. Who am I that I should get to be at the bedside of one of the successors of the Twelve Apostles just hours before his death? How could it possibly be—out of all the people in the world—that I would get to pour out the ‘nard’ of my heart in song and usher him into eternity with the songs and prayers of the Church? I’m still blown away by the incredible grace from God to have been there…and I am forever grateful for our friendship.”

Home away from home

With that promise to Bishop Zipfel back in 2007 to adopt any seminarian sent to St. Louis, Patty and crew are motivated to connect with the Bismarck seminarians every year adding to their list of houseguests. She recognizes that they are far from home navigating a strange, big city.

“They need a family. They move far from home and need a family away from home. I’m grateful for their ‘yes’ and for their sacrifice. We are just a tiny, tiny part of their vocation story, but it’s a beautiful relationship.”

Those relationships remain strong well after the men leave St. Louis, are ordained and begin their ministry back home. This past Lent, Fr. Adam Maus welcomed her to Minot to speak for a parish mission. Then, Fr. Corey Nelson heard she was coming, so she spoke in Tioga. Word got around and Fr. Russ invited her to speak in Williston. She was also able to see Fathers Jacob Degele, Brandon Wolf and Greg Hilzendeger—all men who had studied at Kenrick.

“This was pure joy for me to see these men as pastors, to attend Mass and hear them preach, to see them pouring themselves out for love of their parishioners,” Patty said.

Father Russ, too, is grateful for the long-standing friendship with Patty and her family.

He said, “When you think about the connections she’s formed with the priests, you see the beautiful and almost unimaginable providence of God. I mean, who would have thought that after all these years, through so many of our priests and look what that connection has done and continues to bear good fruit.”

Patty humbly expressed that she and her extended family and friends really don’t do much but invite the men over for dinner and get to know them.

“Obviously, I am not their mother, but I have a maternal heart for priests and am so honored to know and love them all. Because I love the Church, I want to do whatever I can for vocations.  This is just my ‘little way’…to provide hospitality, laughter, good food and fellowship for these men while they are away from their family and discern God’s call in their life. Most importantly, I pray for them every day.”