In my ministry as pastor, parishioners come to me expecting answers and clarity on spiritual matters. One area in particular where they (and I) often struggle is understanding the mystery of the convergence of God’s holy will and prayer. If God’s will is unchangeable, then why pray at all? But, it goes deeper, touching on raw human emotions and fundamental needs.
“I prayed for my wife to be healed of cancer, and she died nonetheless. Didn’t God hear my prayers?”
“Why can’t I conceive a child? Doesn’t God know how much I long to be a mother?”
“Why is my son struggling with a heroin addiction? Did I pray in vain for God to protect my children?”
Understanding the convergence of God’s will and prayer is not merely theological in nature; it defines our very human existence. Does God love me and is He concerned about my deepest needs, which I bring to Him in prayer? The answer is yes, if we understand the relationship between our prayers and God’s holy will.
As Catholics, we can fall under the influence of spiritual trends around us and one of them is the idea that we can “storm heaven” with our prayers. In military terms, “storm” means that you overpower a garrison and then proceed to dictate terms and conditions to the defeated party. What a disregard for God’s omnipotence when we assert that we will “storm heaven” with our needs, seemingly dictating to God how His divine will should unfold. In essence, man commands and God obeys. The sin of pride is alive and well!
We don’t “storm heaven” with our prayers; we humbly ask and accept, “Thy will be done.” This doesn’t mean that we cease praying. No, we continue to pray because what we ask for in prayer may be part of God’s will for us. We don’t really know, but unless we pray for that “door to be opened” (cf. Matthew 7:7), it will remain closed…our prayer won’t be answered.
Think of it this way: when we pray, we pray not to change God’s holy will, but to align ourselves with it. In the words of Pope Saint Gregory the Great, “By asking, men may deserve to receive what almighty God from all eternity is disposed to give.” Thus, it is right and necessary to pray, because prayer makes God’s providence known.
As Catholics, we need to embrace the humility and trust of our Blessed Mother in prayer, “Behold, I am the humble handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word” (Luke 1:38). Our Lady reminds us that true servants of the Lord rest in the divine will, allowing God to be God.
Regarding prayer and the divine will, we must believe that God’s will is unfolding in my life and my prayers are being answered, but not necessarily according to my preconceived notions. When we pray and things don’t unfold in our lives as we had wished, we assume that it was futile to engage in the exercise of prayer: I asked, and I did not receive; I sought, and I did not find; I knocked, and the door wasn’t opened to me. But, carefully look at what Jesus actually stated in His exhortation on prayer. He does indeed command us to ask, seek, and knock but as for what He grants us, isn’t that for Him to decide? What our Lord grants to us in prayer is more beneficial to us than that which we had asked for. This may not be evident right away, but the expanse of time and meditative prayer makes the beauty and great generosity of His divine will more clearly known and appreciated.
I know that when my mother had her massive stroke at age 66, our family prayed for her healing, so that she could go home once again. It never happened; she was in a care center for almost 12 years until her death. Did the Lord not hear our prayers? Well, I believe He did; He gave her a spiritual healing to embrace her sufferings and she offered them up daily for her family and for vocations to the priesthood for the Diocese of Bismarck. I like to believe that she and other victim souls are an important factor in the amazing vocations boom in our diocese. In addition, our dear mother gave us the face of the suffering Christ and an example of how to carry one’s cross daily if we claim to be His disciple.
For all of us, when God does not answer our prayers as we had envisioned them to be answered, praise Him for this. His will for me is far more sublime than my life as I had envisioned it would be.
So, should we pray at all if God’s will be done? Yes, indeed, because we are disposing ourselves to blessings God has in store for us and we are embracing His will in its sublimity, especially as it prepares us for eternal glory in His Kingdom. Pray and pray always, because when we pray, we confess our need for God and proclaim His almighty power to bestow blessings. Prayer allows us to rest in the loving hands of God, and there is no better place to be.
Benz is pastor of Queen of the Most Holy Rosary in Stanley and St. Ann in Berthhold. If you have a question you were afraid to ask, now is the time to ask it! Simply email your question to [email protected] with the “Question Afraid to Ask” in the subject line.