Matters of the heart

Fixing a couple’s marriage is a task Father Joseph Evinger knows he could never do on his own. After all, that’s God’s responsibility, he said.

The Bismarck Diocese priest, however, could point to a multitude of tools that might be effective for repairing relationships—marriage counselors offering therapy or even seminars and lessons for better communication being some of the most common ones. But he believes the most effective method is to put God at the center of the relationship.

“The heart of every marriage must be God, or more specifically, Jesus on the Cross pouring out his love and forgiveness,” Fr. Evinger, pastor of parishes in Kildeer, Halliday and Twin Buttes, said. “It is only with the help of God’s grace that we can forgive, let go of hurt and hope for a better tomorrow, all the while surrendering one’s will to God’s will.”

Father Evinger has seen God’s grace at work many times and not just within the parishes he supports. Since 2019, he has been involved with a program offered by the Bismarck Diocese’s Office of Family Ministry, a weekend experience offered to couples struggling in their marriages called Corazon, the Spanish word for “heart.”

“I’m a big supporter of it because of the fruit I’ve seen through it. Although it’s only a weekend, you see many couples come into the retreat with tension between each other, but then drive away with smiles on their faces, and much hope that great things can come from lifelong married life,” he said.

According to the Corazon team—comprised of Fr. Evinger, Fr. Russ Kovash and other professionals—the program is not a support group, a seminar, a social gathering, nor is it counseling. Couples are not asked to share their problems with anyone else. They are encouraged to participate with open hearts and minds and to come with an attitude ready to put the past behind them, looking forward to what the future will hold.

Prayer, daily Mass, confession and adoration form Corazon’s core agenda. There are also presentations and talks on a host of topics that include the sacrament of marriage, communication challenges, forgiveness, unrealistic expectations, hardened hearts and hope.

“This weekend includes the experience of marriage counselors, priests and some down time to reconnect,” Fr. Evinger said. “Think of it as an opportunity to find goodness in your spouse in a way you never have before. This weekend does not require couples to share their struggles but, if they wish, there certainly is an opportunity to do so.”

In the short-term, the weekend’s effects are apparent. Couples fill out an anonymous survey after Corazon. Father Evinger said the results from those surveys are overwhelmingly positive, with about a 95 percent favorable rating. Some couples have noted to the Corazon team that they wish they would have gone to Corazon much earlier in their marriage before things became difficult.

One anonymous testimonial from a couple who attended a weekend echoes that sentiment: “My marriage wasn’t falling apart according to other people, but I knew deep down that if we continued the way we were, it wasn’t going to end well. Corazon allowed a space for my spouse and I to connect again. Now, we can move forward with a plan to create a better future together, for us and our family.”

Corazon is not only for marriages, but for preserving families, the Corazon team said. Because, ultimately, a strained marriage can affect others outside of the relationship.

“Maybe you’ve got three little kids and with the exhaustion that comes with raising children, you now find little time to spend and work on your relationship with your spouse. The worst thing that could happen to a family is the two leaders become enemies. It makes the whole family a war zone,” he said. The children intuitively look to their parents for stability, but if the parents are not stable in their relationship with God and one another, the family falls apart. This ministry aims at bringing greater stability to the marriage so that both parents and children can more fully trust God—Who is the ultimate rock Who saves us.”

Corazon weekend Sept. 29

Any married couple is welcome to attend, no matter if they have lost hope or are in crisis, struggling, having a hard time managing conflict, communicating or forgiving. Couples will also be challenged to learn how to live, more fully, their vocation in the sacrament of marriage.

The next Corazon weekend is Sept. 29-Oct. 1. All confidences are kept and privacy for anyone inquiring about or attending a retreat is a priority. To find more information about Corazon or to sign up, visit bismarckdiocese.com/corazon or call Amanda at 701-204-7205.