Michelle Duppong’s extraordinary ordinary life

Life on the family farm in Haymarsh, North Dakota was pretty ordinary, according to Ken and Mary Ann Duppong, but the simplicity and hard work was fertile ground for the seeds of the Catholic faith. So much so, that it was announced in June that a cause for possible canonization was opened for the fourth of their six children, Michelle, who died from cancer at the age of 31 on Christmas Day, 2015.

There is a long process ahead, but if Michelle becomes a canonized a saint, it will be a first for North Dakota. As is common among so many of our saints, their ordinariness became extraordinary through their radiant witness of reflecting Christ wherever they went. As the investigation into Michelle’s life proceeds, those who knew her attest that was exactly the way Michelle lived.  

Mary Ann explained that Michelle’s childhood included farm chores such as gardening, mowing, pruning, weeding, harvesting and canning. “That exposure to yard and garden work is probably why Michelle and two other daughters—three out of our six children— were horticulture majors. They knew they were an important part of providing home grown food for our family. If there were extra veggies, the girls sold them in town after Mass on Saturday mornings.”

There was also herding sheep and bottle-feeding lambs which soon became pets. It was understood that work came first and fun later. “She just buckled down to get any task done,” Mary Ann said.

Although Michelle was valedictorian and president of her senior class, she was not
particularly engaged in a peer social life. She was happy to go along with her family to occasional Catholic conferences that included speakers, Mass and adoration—much like the Thirst Conferences in Bismarck that Michelle was later to help plan in her work as Director of Faith Formation for the diocese. Prior to taking that job in 2012, she was a FOCUS missionary at four college campuses including the inaugural year at University of Mary, mentoring college students to draw them deeper into the faith. Mary Ann pointed out that Michelle enjoyed sharing her January 25 birthday with St. Paul, the great evangelizer, a mission she also lived.

It was in the fall of 2014 that Michelle began experiencing sharp pains in her abdomen. Ovarian cysts was the diagnosis. Nothing serious, Michelle was told, and they might even dissolve on their own.

By mid-December Michelle was in agony. After a second ultrasound, out-patient surgery was scheduled for December 29 to remove the cysts. The surgeon opened Michelle and was shocked at the finding. Her abdomen was full of cancer—stage four. “Michelle, there isn’t anything we can do,” she was told by two doctors that she should go home for hospice care.

“How long does she have?” Mary Ann asked, horrified. “Two months,” was the answer. 

Thus began Michelle’s year-long journey, fighting for her life while accepting God’s will every step of the way. Her sister Renae, who had a degree in nursing, accompanied her on the journey as her personal nurse.

There were many surgeries and hospital stays until Michelle was sent home when there was nothing more that could be done for her. “Michelle was not one to blame anyone for anything,” Mary Ann said. “Her attitude was, ‘If God wants me to go through this, I will go through this.’”

Towards the end of the journey when Michelle was put on hospice care, a family doctor asked Mary Ann if they had to do it over again, did they think all her medical procedures were worth putting Michelle through so much pain to gain another 10 months? “You have no idea of how many lives she touched that last year,” Mary Ann responded. “Not only was Michelle a great witness of her deep faith, she used that time to offer her suffering for others. There were over 230,000 hits on her CaringBridge site that year, including strangers from across the country. How do you measure the good from that?”

Mary Ann shared that one of her most precious gifts from Michelle is a relic medal from the Shrine of the North American Martyrs in New York. “Michelle said that she believed a time was coming when we, too, should be ready if we would be asked by Our Lord to suffer martyrdom to pass on the faith. She told her that we need to be brave by putting on the armor of faith! This she did to her very last breath. She never talked about death or dying, just about hope of what the future might bring.”

Right up until the end, Michelle still prayed for healing. However, one of the sisters from the Congregation of Teresian Carmelites serving at Spirit of Life in Mandan who had helped out during hospice care, later revealed that Michelle had told her that she would die on Christmas Day. Somehow, in the end, Michelle knew. Family members took turns gathering around her bed the evening of December 25, singing, praying and expressing their love. Michelle took her last breath at 11:23 p.m.

And now, Michelle may one day be counted among the canonized saints. “She gave everything,” her father Ken said. “Her whole year of suffering, the pain was non-stop. It was hard watching. But it wasn’t just that year. Her whole life was dedicated to whatever Jesus wanted.” When she was in the hospital, he said he would pray the rosary over the phone with Michelle, Mary Ann and Renae.

He said it was typical for hospital staff to be drawn to Michelle, sometimes sharing personal problems with her. “She would be concerned about their problems, not hers,” Ken said. An example he gave was when someone was upset that her husband had left her. “Michelle told her, ‘Forgive him and pray for him because you are maybe the only one who can help him.’”  The woman came back later with joy and shared that she had finally found peace, and was finally able to move on.

 According to Ken, Michelle’s attitude was that we should do everything we can while on earth to make it to heaven. “She would say to the other FOCUS missionaries, ‘Give everything you’ve got because it might be the only chance to save that person’s soul; you have to show them the way.’ Whatever she did, she always did her best.”

Her sister Lisa Gray shared that Michelle’s example has shown her how to live an amazing life in ordinary ways. “She lived her life in conformity to Christ. When I saw her taking her last breath, I was so happy for her,” Lisa explained. “I was so proud of her. I had the feeling of her running to Jesus. It was not just the tragedy of the cancer story; people knew that Michelle was marked; it was just part of her journey. I had a heart of knowledge that she was going to heaven on Christmas night.”

Early the next morning, Lisa received confirmation. “As I woke up, I heard her voice, ‘Leese, it’s beautiful.’ Her voice was radiant.”

Since then, the family has heard from many people who believe they have had prayers answered through Michelle’s intercession. They request that people who have such stories, to contact the diocese to share them.