by Vivian and Dave Hernandez, Retrouvaille participants
What is Retrouvaille, you might ask? Retrouvaille is a French word meaning “rediscovery.”
Dave and I were married over 31 years when we attended our Retrouvaille weekend in January 2016 in the Bismarck Diocese. We weren’t on the verge of divorce, but we weren’t the couple we wanted to be either. Communication was not our strong point, we could go days without speaking, neither one of us knew how to break the silence or the cycle we had gotten into.
Our now adult children were caught in the middle of our frustration. Out of desperation, our daughters informed us, “You will be attending a Retrouvaille weekend in January!”
We attended the weekend with 20 other couples of all ages, led by host couples and a priest. The host couples shared their stories of what brought them to Retrouvaille and their journey to healing and reconciliation. It was a very humbling to hear these couples share their most private hurts with us.
All too often, we think we are the only couple that is struggling albeit with little things or big. For me, it was my pride that kept me from admitting things weren’t great. But, as we listened to the host couples it became clear that so many couples are hurting, feeling hopeless and helpless.
If your marriage isn’t what you hoped it would be, please realize that other couples are hurting and struggling, too. Don’t wait 31 years like we did. The Retrouvaille program gave us the tools we needed to start on a new path in our marriage.
Dave and I are now assisting with the Retrouvaille program. Writing this article is the first step for us to give back to the program that gave us a new start. If you are a couple wondering if there is help out there, make the call.
The 2018 Retrouvaille weekend is scheduled for Jan. 19-21 in the Bismarck area. For more information, call Tara at the Bismarck Diocese at 701-204-7209 or 1-877-405-7435. If you wish to remain anonymous when calling, you do not need to identify yourself. Or, visit the national website retrouvaille.org.
Vivian and Dave Hernandez are residents of Reeder and parishioners of St. Mary’s in New England.