Should people hold hands or put hands in the air during the “Our Father?”

On our own, we are free to assume whatever postures we like in prayer. We can lay prostrate on the floor, we can hold our hands folded, we can kneel, we can hold our hands up to the sky however we like.

But during the Church’s liturgy—the structured, official prayers and rites of the Catholic Church—every movement and posture has a history, meaning and symbolism. Everything should be done according to the approved liturgical texts. The Roman Missal and its instructions, for example, tell us, especially the priest, exactly when and where to genuflect, when to make the sign of the cross, and so on. In Eucharistic Prayer I, for example, it even instructs the priest where to look with his eyes.

Thus, during the liturgy, we are not free to adopt whatever posture we please, whenever we please. Doing so can disrupt the liturgy and mess with the symbolism of the parts of the Mass. We should know what’s called for at each moment, and why we do what we do, when we do it.

During the Lord’s Prayer at Mass, the priest celebrant is instructed to lead the prayer with hands extended. There is no instruction for the laity to do anything with their hands at that time. That’s not to say they cannot, therefore, do anything. But they shouldn’t do anything that would be disruptive, confusing or be problematic, symbolically.

So, what about hand holding and raising hands? Let’s consider these two different gestures.

First, hand holding. Holding hands is only called for in Catholic rites, as far as I know, during the celebration of holy matrimony when the couple is instructed to “join their right hands” before exchanging vows.

As Fr. Edward McNamara, a well-known liturgy expert and seminary professor, once wrote: “One could argue that holding hands expresses the family union of the Church. But our singing or reciting the [the Lord’s] prayer in unison already expresses this element. The act of holding hands usually emphasizes group or personal unity from the human or physical point of view and is thus more typical of the spontaneity of small groups. Hence it does not always transfer well into the context of larger gatherings where some people feel uncomfortable, and a bit imposed upon, when doing so.  The use of this practice during the Our Father could detract and distract from the prayer’s God-directed sense of adoration and petition …  in favor of a more horizontal and merely human meaning.” 

In other words, holding hands could distract our attention from God to those around us just as we are praying to God. It’s like talking to one person while looking at someone else, distracted.

That said, if hand holding spontaneously happens among a few family members, that’s not a sin. But if there starts to become peer pressure for others to join in, making them uncomfortable, as if hand holding was called for at that point, that could be more of a problem.

So, while hand holding is not explicitly banned during the Lord’s Prayer, or at any other time during Mass, it is not called for either. And it could be a distraction, especially if strangers start expecting their neighbors in the pews to hold hands. In general, I recommend hand holding during the Lord’s Prayer be avoided. If you must, don’t make a show of it or impose it upon others, because they are, rightly, not expecting it.

Now, what about raising hands in prayer during the Lord’s Prayer? Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, the future Pope Benedict XVI, in his book The Spirit of the Liturgy, described this posture, called the “orans” posture, as “the oldest gesture of prayer in Christendom.” Depictions of it can be found on the walls of Rome’s ancient catacombs. Benedict continued, writing, “It is also a gesture of seeking and hoping. Man reaches out to the hidden God, stretches out toward him. Arms extended have been compared to wings: man seeks the heights, he wants to be, as it were, carried upward by God on the wings of payer. But for Christians, arms extended also have a Christological meaning. They remind us of the extended arms of Christ on the Cross.”

Obviously, this is a powerful and common posture of prayer. We still see it at all kinds of worship services and Christian concerts. But, as mentioned, during the Mass our postures are governed by the liturgical rites of the Church. Each aspect of the Mass, including our posture at each moment, has meaning. We are seated for the readings in a position of listening and learning. We stand out of respect for the Word of God as the Gospel is read. We kneel in adoration during parts of the Eucharistic Prayer. And so on. 

The liturgical rites instruct the priest to extend his hands in this “orans” posture during the Lord’s Prayer. It does not instruct the laity to do so. Some have argued that people in the pews holding up hands, just like the holding of hands, can cause a distraction or lead to a lack of unity in the congregation or confusion about what we are supposed to be doing.

Like holding hands, raising hands at the Lord’s Prayer is not explicitly prohibited, but it’s also not called for. Therefore, I would discourage both, and recommend that we focus on God, Our Father, and our upcoming reception of Holy Communion as we pray the Lord’s Prayer.

Fr. Signalness is pastor of Queen of the Most Holy Rosary in Stanley and St. Ann in Berthhold. If you have a question you were afraid to ask, now is the time to ask it! Simply email your question to [email protected] with the “Question Afraid to Ask” in the subject line.