Still bringing souls to Our Lord

This new year, on January 25, Ken and Mary Ann Duppong and family, will mark what would have been their daughter Michelle Christine’s 40th birthday. Her death on Christmas Day eight years ago at age 31 has brought many changes to the family and even to the Church with the opening of her cause for canonization on November 1, All Saints’ Day, in 2022.

Michelle is now known to the world with the title “Servant of God” as the diocese conducts its investigation into her life. If all is in order, the cause will advance to the Vatican to declare her “Venerable” then await a miracle for her beatification and another for canonization.

Each year, her family has tried to continue to honor and celebrate Michelle’s birthday by inviting her personal friends for a winter party, according to Mary Ann. It’s a chance to share memories of their Christmases with Michelle.

The seasons have changed at their farm in Haymarsh near Glen Ullin, North Dakota, where they raised their six children, she explained. There were many past years of their family’s lively “Haymarsh Holiday Hoedown” celebration to gather with relatives and friends. Then, the night of Christmas Day 2015 was spent with family gathered at Michelle’s bedside, singing, praying and expressing their love as she quietly slipped into eternity at 11:23 p.m., ending her yearlong battle with cancer. 

Not long after Bishop Kagan celebrated Michelle’s funeral Mass at the Cathedral of the Holy Spirit, he began hearing accounts from people about Michelle’s impact in their lives. The Duppongs also received over 500 cards and letters that first month after her death, and around 200 included special notes about how Michelle influenced their lives in a profound way.

“What inspired me about Michelle and prompted me to take this first step were her two most obvious virtues: her joyful faith and her unconditional acceptance of God’s will for her,” Bishop Kagan stated in an earlier interview. Her main desire, he said, was to share the joy of knowing Jesus.

Christmas gatherings

The season that celebrates the birth of Jesus, was Michelle’s favorite according to Mary Ann, and her joy was always infectious at their family Christmas gatherings.

“We practiced the custom of lighting the candles on an Advent wreath along with listening to a meditative reading at our supper meal, and would attend both Christmas Eve evening or midnight Mass, and the next morning Christmas Mass, unless the roads were blocked,” she said.

As the children became older, they participated in the special Christmas choir/music for those liturgies.

“My side of the family had a tradition of a live Santa home visit, so we did some of that when our children were young. Usually, one of the uncles put on a costume and brought gifts to our home, or we went to one of the other relatives’ houses.”

On Christmas Day, they had a special holiday meal, often with other guests.

When Christmas started to mean kids coming home from college, their Haymarsh Holiday Hoedown was scheduled sometime between Christmas and New Year’s. By then, the gathering expanded to include neighbors, as well as elderly who were alone, adding up to as many as 60 guests. The afternoon entertainment grew to include any talent, even yo-yo tricks. Sometimes Ken, Michelle’s father, and their neighbor, Russell Gietzen, would play Amazing Grace together on their harmonicas. If weather permitted, there was sledding or tubing in the snow; and sometimes Russell brought a team of horses over for hayrides.

“I thought once they went off to college, they would not be interested in doing the hoedown anymore,” Mary Ann said, “but, instead, they really valued it and looked forward to the gathering.”

A peaceful death

There was no Christmas party the year that Michelle was sick. After many hospital stays, she was home on hospice care.

“By mid-December, Michelle was very weak and not talking much,” Mary Ann recalled. “On a Tuesday night, three days before her death, our parish priest and a few parish friends and relatives came to our house. They stood in the hall outside of her room and sang some Christmas songs. ‘We love you, Michelle,’ one said upon leaving. Michelle could barely muster enough strength to respond, ‘thank you,’ and smiled—some of the last words she spoke.”

Mary Ann recalled, “Their caroling meant so much to all of us.” Jean Wanner, Mary Ann’s dearest friend and sister-in-law, her husband Ken’s sister and beloved aunt to Michelle, had died of cancer just two weeks earlier. “Our hearts were aching,” she said.

The family was all together for that last Christmas with Michelle.

“Throughout Christmas Day, we prayed our daily rosary, a Chaplet of Mercy, a litany of other prayers together around her bedside, and sang traditional Christmas songs to her,” Mary Ann recounted. “Michelle no longer spoke or opened her eyes.”

Surrounded by family, Michelle breathed heavily and then drew her last breath. “It was a peaceful death,” Mary Ann said. “Some of us cried. It was a relief that her suffering here was over, but you are never ready to say goodbye. Lisa [Gray, her married sister] had gone in that day and told Michelle, ‘If you are going to go, I want a sign that you are in heaven.’” 

Lisa had shared in an earlier interview, “When I saw her taking her last breath, I was so happy for her. I was so proud of her. I had the feeling of her running to Jesus. It was not just the tragedy-of-the-cancer story; people knew that Michelle was ‘marked.’ It was just part of her journey. I had a heart of knowledge that she was going to heaven on Christmas night.”

Early the next morning, Lisa received a great consolation. “As I woke up, I heard her voice, ‘Leese, it’s beautiful.’ Her voice was radiant.”

Only later did the Duppong family learn that Michelle said she would die on Christmas. She had told one of the religious sisters from the Congregation of Teresian Carmelites who had helped her during hospice care that she would die on Christmas Day. The sister doubted that Michelle would know that so did not mention it until after her passing.

Perfect Christmas gift

The year following Michelle’s death, the family was grieving her loss. Mary Ann shared a dramatic and unexpected moment that brought great comfort.

“During the night on Dec. 23, 2016, I was sound asleep. At 5 a.m., I woke up upon hearing Michelle speaking to me joyfully out loud like she was standing by my bedside. ‘Merry Christmas, Mom!’ I sat up in the bed. Was I dreaming? It was dark in the room except for the window’s moonlight. I looked about the room, at the clock and looked at Ken asleep in the shadows.

“Puzzled, I went to lay back down. Then, I heard her voice again, saying in exactly the same jovial manner, ‘Merry Christmas, Mom!’ I knew it was Michelle. The tone of her voice reassured me that she was so happy, and I peacefully went back to sleep. That was the perfect Christmas gift.”

Mary Ann shared, “Christmas will never be the same for us. Losing Michelle at such a young age and the trauma during her last year are unforgettable. Yet, we realize how blessed we were to have her in our lives those 31 years and feel assured that she is rejoicing with all the saints and being with the Holy Family eternally.

“With the announcement of Michelle’s title of Servant of God, our family humbly rejoices that Michelle’s life and work are not forgotten,” Mary Ann said. “We feel confident that she is still bringing souls to her Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.”